


I Disappear

by messageredacted



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-14
Updated: 2012-01-14
Packaged: 2017-10-29 12:46:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/320027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messageredacted/pseuds/messageredacted
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts with a kiss but it doesn’t end there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Disappear

**Author's Note:**

> Brief implication of dubcon kissing. Originally written 31 January 2009.

It starts with a kiss but it doesn’t end there.

There is something in the kiss of a demon that is different from a regular kiss, and Dean knows kisses. The crossroads demon takes something from him when she kisses him, and it’s not just an I.O.U. for his soul; there’s something primal there. She is not just a pretty girl; she is something evil and powerful and ancient. It leaves an empty spot behind his ribcage, like she gutted him without ever breaking his skin. He thought that losing Sam was the worst thing that could ever happen, and it was, but Sam’s death didn’t leave the hole in his chest that selling his soul did.

Even when Sam is back, Dean can taste the demon on the back of his teeth. He is still incredulous that his soul could buy something that precious. He knows, absolutely, that what he gave was not equal to what he got, and he keeps waiting for someone to ask for something else, or worse, take Sam back.

And what’s worse is the fear: if Sam dies, Dean has nothing, absolutely nothing left to bargain with.

##

A week later, the sins come to Oak Park.

Isaac drinks Drano and loses the lower half of his face. When Tamara wants to go back to the bar and get him, Dean decides to go along.

“That’s suicide, Dean,” Sam says.

“So what? I’m dead already,” Dean spits back.

He doesn’t go, and the sins come to them. It’s more than fitting that Lust is the one to come after him. She’s hot and blond and when she touches him something slots into that space in his chest. He can’t think of anything but kissing her, hot and suffocating and animal. They move backwards in tandem until they reach the bathtub and Dean shoves her under, into the holy water, holding her down as the steam curls around his wrists. _Take it, bitch_ , he thinks. _I hope it hurts._

It does.

##

It’s a night in June and he and Sam are following a trail of strange weather patterns and mysterious deaths across the country. Sam’s at the library trolling through the microfiche for anything suspicious. Dean talks with the girlfriend of the deceased, a hot redhead arty type. Questioning leads to a drink at the bar, and when she kisses him, he knows.

She doesn’t need to show him her black eyes.

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t exorcise you right here,” Dean growls.

She smiles at him.

“When you’re gone, no one’s gonna be around to protect Sammy anymore,” she giggles.

He breaks her neck before he exorcises her.

##

Casey is a brunette with bedroom eyes. If she were a human, she might even be out of his league, but she’s not in either case. He lets her take him back to her house.

Even when they’re trapped together in the basement, waiting for the cavalry to arrive, Dean could kiss her. He knows what she is, and maybe that’s why. She knows it too; she sprawls like she’s imagining his hands on her. When Sam shoots her, Dean almost feels a physical tug in his chest for the loss.

##

He never kisses Ruby. It’s because the bitch is on their side. There is nothing to bargain for.

##

The first night in hell—and night is so relative—a demon by the name of Alastair comes to see him. He doesn’t wear a human body in hell; his form is true and horrific.

“The deal’s done, boy,” Alastair says, smiling with teeth like black knives. “You have nothing left to bargain with. Everything that’s yours is mine now.” He leans down for a kiss.


End file.
